I got pied in the face....

For a Good Cause

We decided to have a "pie in the face" contest for our 2011 annual department meeting to raise money for the "Bread of Life" charity event.  The winning bidder would get to pie one of the four department leaders in the face.

Way before the "pie in the face" auction concluded, I'd heard through the grapevine there were powerful forces who had coalesced to pick me.  Two of my managers had organized a sizeable team of donors ("Pricing and Friends") through an underground operation the magnitude of a Jerry Lewis Telethon.  These "Friends" may have been Pricing friends, but they were no friends of mine.

I'd contemplated different excuses to skip getting a pie thrown in my face, but this was for an important charity event, so I decided to suck it up and accept my fate.

During the auction, I was sitting on the sidelines feeling dejected.  Then something extraordinary happened:  "Christina Welsh & Friends" joined forces with DA&R to outbid the seemingly invincible "Pricing & Friends" with deep pockets.  DA&R had bid $570.  "Christina & Friends" had a budget of $800.  So I figured I'm safe, and my spirits began to lift…until Margaret (my boss) joined "Pricing & Friends"!  I was now against Trump Enterprises, and my fate was summarily sealed.  I learned later, one of my managers had asked Margaret to join "Pricing & Friends" at the last second.  Lots of effort went into securing me the top spot.  I'm generally a very competitive person, but this ain't no "first place" to hang your hat on.  I was officially the BOSS Villain.

So they wrapped a couple of trash bags around my body with only my head sticking out.  Like smooth criminals, Brady and Galina did the honors, and just like that I felt like a celebrity.  Cameras were flashing with paparazzi everywhere.  I couldn't open my mouth to breathe, and had to keep my eyes shut.  After someone wiped my face, I opened my eyes and saw white everywhere.  I had to eat the excessive whipped cream and graham cracker crust blocking my mouth to find an opening to breathe.

Then it was Margaret's turn to get pied, and off I went to the restroom to wash off the remaining pieces of the pie.  An hour later, and my hair and face are beginning to smell like barf.  I'm heading to the gym now, and I'm not afraid to stink up the place… After all, it was for a good cause.

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 3: