Take me to church!

6-30-2015:  Every time I visit Sweden, I take away a memory or two that lasts me a lifetime.  Some are good, some bad, and some downright depressing, enough to make a grown man cry; like the time I filled up my father-in-law's gas tank to the tune of $100+.  This visit was no different.  Here's what I'll remember for as long as I have my faculties together:

For the past few summers, I've been eating yummy pancakes for 20 Swedish Krona - $2.40 at the current exchange rate - at the Nobbelov Church in Lund, built in the 12th century.  Every summer, they hold a kids arts and crafts program  from Tuesdays through Thursdays, and today was the first of this summer season's.  At 12 p.m., the church bells ring for a few minutes, and the volunteer workers drop everything and mosey their way into church like zombies.   For breakfast/brunch, they serve coffee, tea, fruit juice, cookies, pancakes and a couple of other miscellaneous breakfast items I can't name.  The attendees are old people and mothers with kids, but every now and then a father shows up.  I go to church for pancakes only.  Just today, I had two plates full.  Swedish pancakes are really crepes, but they call them pancakes.  I spoke to a church Choir leader today, a lady in her 60's.  She said she'd just come back from NY for her son's 30th birthday, and the pancakes there were very "thick".

The last time I came to Lund was a couple of years ago.  On our visit downtown this year, there must've been a beggars' convention in force.  There was one in every corner, and sometimes just a couple of stores apart.  These are the Roma.  They come from Bulgaria and Romania primarily, and their numbers have doubled in just one year.  I'd never seen any in Lund before.  This is a sad state of affairs, and downtown Lund isn't quite as desirable as it used to be.  The Swedish government has been seemingly powerless to stop them.  "We have seen this group grow every year. This is about discrimination and poverty in their home countries, which don't live up to their responsibilities. It's difficult to predict the future, but I think we need to get used to the thought that this situation will continue to be the norm," said Marina Johansson, representing the Social Democrats in Gothenburg's municipality."

And can someone please import these to the U.S. supermarkets???

Handbaskets with wheels - what a concept!

Clear the way for this fat man - Gulp!

This guy comes outta nowhere - I'm guessing at least 300 lb. - and begins putting on moves to the Moonshine band playing vintage blues on stage on the last day of the Sawdust Festival in Laguna Beach.  At times, he would get within a few feet of me, and I'd feel the wooden deck tremble beneath my feet. I'll be honest, the thought of him falling on me briefly crossed my mind, but I'm proud to say I lived to tell the story.

When IKEA's got you by the balls

Anyone who has been to IKEA at least once is keenly aware of the gigantic baffling maze the layout of these stores are, and how escaping without a purchase is virtually impossible.  I bet top dollar IKEA has hired design consultants to break down the shoppers' bearings in an attempt to get them to travel the farthest distance from entrance to exit.  There are hidden or disguised shortcuts throughout, but they're better kept secrets than In 'N Out Hamburgers' underground menu.

Now imagine your 4 year old throws a tantrum, just long enough distance away from the entrance, and you threaten to take her back to the car!!!

The downward spiral began today when both of my daughters were told there was a 30 minute wait for the playroom.  Translation:  It ain't happening.  We were shopping for one item and weren't about to wait.  As we walked away from the playroom, the younger one slowed down, which is not exactly how we preferred to navigate this obstacle course.  Then when I told her I'd take her back to the car, she began crying defiantly.  So I picked her up and carried her a few feet before I realized I have to pass at least a few dozen shoppers, and then a healthy crowd at the check out counters, all over a long distance while my daughter was having none of it.  I immediately parked it in a secluded corner and told her if she stayed calm for 10 seconds, I'd let her down.  She demanded I put her down first.  I, of course, refused.  This negotiation went on for a couple of minutes before she relented to my surprise.

The moral of the story is, unless you're near the check out counter, not only does IKEA own you, but so does your little one.

Intelligent design at work - Part 1

The lord works in mysterious ways... 30 giant hornets kill and maim 30,000 bees in 3 hours, a kill ratio not seen since Pizarro's 150 men massacred 2,000 Inca Indians and lost only 5 or fewer of their own in the Battle of Cajamarca in 1532, when the Incas refused to convert to Christianity.

Is the pen mightier than the sword?

Helena broke a kids glass this morning, and Elin, my first grader wrote this note to me in secret, obviously proud of her new-found writing skills.  It was precisely at this moment that I realized the pen is mightier than the sword, and how quickly a novice writer can expose the guilty so effortlessly....

Chicken Butt & Chicken Bone

According to Elin who painted this, the character on the right is Chicken Butt and the one on the left is Chicken Bone.  Chicken Butt can fly, but Chicken Bone can only jump high.  They both live in an igloo and keep each other warm in the cold arctic weather.  I asked Elin how Chicken Butt can fly without wings.  She said the wings are under it.  He doesn't have legs.  He just flies, and when he's not flying, he jumps like a cricket.  And those are antennas on top of his head.  He uses them to balance himself when he bounces.  The circle above his head is just a cloud Elin didn't want me to write about, but I did anyway.  She insisted that I remove the reference to the cloud, and later changed it to a ball.  He juggles the ball with his antennas.

Let's talk about Chicken Bone now.  He is 4 years old and eats fish.  He finds a little hole in the ice, dips his head in and catches fish with his mouth.  His long neck helps him stick his head deep under water for feeding.

More to come later.....

Kid saying no to ice cream?? Is such a thing conceivable?

Yes it is.  I asked Elin as we were eating our bagel sandwiches if there would ever come a time when she would refuse ice cream.  She, of course, was certain she'd never say no.  After lunch, we headed over to Cold Stone Ice Cream a few stores down.  Elin ordered a kids' size cup with Cotton Candy and Vanilla flavors.  The kids' size was a surprise, because it would shame even adults.  Luckily, this was just the right size to put the hypothesis above to the test.  Elin finished half of the ice cream and pushed the cup towards me in defeat.  Even an hour later she said, "Pappa, ask me if I want ice cream".  She, of course, refused it.

Even a kid can say no to ice cream under the right circumstance.

Elin before refusing ice cream

Elin after refusing ice cream