Can COVID defy Newton's law of motion??

As I do every morning, this morning I put my Trader Joe's steel cut oats into the microwave for 4 minutes and 20 seconds while I stretched and worked out - basically making myself useful while my oat meal cooked.

Rewind for a little relevant backgrounder:  Three weeks ago, I contracted COVID.  It was a mild case with no fever or sore throat; primarily congestion and upper respiratory infection.  During COVID, I started making simple mistakes, many of them for the first time ever and related to taking the wrong medication or supplement at the wrong time of the day.  And post-COVID, it seems like some of these dumb unprecedented mistakes have lingered, and this morning was one such occasion.

After I took my oatmeal out of the microwave, I grabbed an organic banana - also from Trader Joe's - and peeled the skin.  Then somehow, the entire banana slipped out of my hands and on to the kitchen floor.  You'd think no big deal, pick up the banana quickly, blow on it a couple of times, chop and put in oatmeal bowl.  But nooooo, the banana bounced and rolled under my oven.  When I laid on the floor and looked under the oven, I saw the banana resting all the way in against the wall.  WTF?!  What are the odds the banana would find its way back there???  I couldn't replicate this trajectory if I tried a thousand times.  So now I'm thinking no problem, use the Swiffer handle to get the banana out, rinse and use.  WRONG!!!!  The picture below is incontrovertible proof there was no rescuing this banana.

Click on the image below to enlarge and appreciate its intricacies:

Bye bye banana.  You're beyond redemption

Somebody's Hapi

Wednesday, August 24th, 2nd week of school for Johanna in Middle School and Elin in high school, both for the first time.

We headed over to Hapi Sushi in Laguna for Elin's favorite Salmon Avocado roll.  Hapi is a small quaint hole-in-the-wall sushi bar/restaurant with limited inside and out seating.

This particular day, our eyes caught something unexplainable:

This female patron left her straw hat on the floor upright, on its brim and to her right.  The sushi bar is too narrow to rest that good size hat on, and I highly doubt it fell off the counter.  Looking at how her bag is laying on its side, I'd surmise she's either inebriated or just doesn't give a chit.  Anyway, hard to believe anyone would leave their hat on the floor like that.  Maybe she'd had a rough day on the beach??

Playing chicken with a Bee

 

Sunday morning, 7:30 a.m., got into my car to drive to tennis.  I saw this bee resting on my front  windshield  motionless and directly in my view.  Should I flick it off, use my windshield wiper to swipe it, or just drive until the wind blows it away?

I opted for the latter, and by my estimate the 45 mph max speed in the canyon should get the job done nicely.  Wrong!  I drive the few minutes at the slow speed limit until I get to the 55 mph zone.  The bee still didn't budge.  By this time I had detected no movement, as if the bee had died and somehow superglued to my windshield.

Shortly after, I entered the 65 mph speed limit zone, and in an irritated state let the gas pedal rip.  65, 75, 85..... No?! 95.... oh yeah?!!!  How about 103 mph bitch?  Can you take that?  Yes it can and yes it did, with no detectable movement whatsoever.  At this point, I backed down because the situation was getting too contentious.  I decided to wait to park the car at the tennis courts and opt for a physical confrontation.

When I stopped at the intersection of the 133 freeway and Laguna Canyon Road for a left turn, I lifted my phone to get a close-up of the bee, but after three tries - bee came out blurry each time - in what can only be described as nothing short of a miracle, the bee came back to life, turned 90 degrees and began climbing my windshield, and after a few steps flew away!

How can a pipsqueek insect even breathe in conditions of warp drive speed for an extended period of time, nevermind that it held on to my windshield at 103 mph??  Does a bee even breathe?

It turns out bees do take in oxygen like humans, and exhale, except not through their mouth and nose.  According to BuzzAboutBees.net, "Bees have pairs of holes in the body called 'spiracles'.  You could call them 'air holes'. There are 20 spiracles in total, arranged in a neat line along each side of the body.  The spiracles have valves which control the air flow in and out of the bee's body.

My little game of chicken with this bee proves bees can continue to breathe through their 20 airholes at prohibitively high velocities.  And this poor bee is highly unlikely to find its way back to its colony, 6.4 miles away.

Trip to Cambria

Sunday, July 31st, tennis at 8 a.m. with some lower back pain as expected, packed and left for the first leg of our trip to Solvang at 10:45 a.m.  My memory failed me yet again to no one's surprise; left the fruits in the fridge, and left the house in flip flops only.  Moving on....

We stopped in Santa Barbara and ate at Lilac Patisserie.  We now eat at places that are GF (gluten free) friendly as Elin is likely afflicted with Ulcerative Colitis (UC).  Great restaurant, UC or no UC.  Elin and I had Eggs Benedict, but the eggs were overcooked and the yolk hard - hadn't experienced that before.  This is a situation that must be rectified - more on that later.  After food, we walked in beautiful downtown SB, bought 6 macarons and set off for Solvang.

Newsflash:  2nd day in Cambria I pulled a couple of muscles in my lower back as I was gracefully rising from the toilet.  What a 'buckets of horseshit' moment.  I've never even heard of anyone pull a back muscle getting off the shitter.  My immediate thought was whether I could walk and/or drive back home the next day as scheduled.  This is the kinda baloney that happens to other unfit couch potato sedentaries.  I heard the Uber charge from LAX to Orange County is $150.  I can only imagine the rideshare cost from Cambria to Orange County; a 5 hour driving distance.  The pain was most acute when I got in and out of the car.  A plethora of cuss words would escape my mouth each time, some of which were unrecognizable to me.

Back to Solvang:  A quaint town and a tourist hotspot trying hard to sustain a Danish vibe.  I bet not one of the 6K residents speak a lick of Danish.  Official census stats puts Danes at 10% of the population.  Solvang was founded by 3 Danes in 1911 who were fed up with the Midwest weather.  I've always wondered about the wisdom of the Scandinavians who settled in the Midwest.  You'd think the folks who left the godawful weather in their home country would have the foresight not to pick the Midwest as their new settlement, but I guess the 3 founders of Solvang were the only change agents of the bunch.

We stayed at the Solvang Inn, pretty much  Motel 6 territory.  For dinner, we ate at Chomp.  The servers were polite college age males, most of whom sported a mustache.  Irritation began to set in when I reached for the ketchup bottle.  It felt empty so I borrowed the one from the next table; empty also.  What are the odds?  I asked our server for another bottle.  He took the two bottles never to return with a useful replacement, and eventually I managed to snag one from a distant table.  Chump!

Next day breakfast at Brekkies next to CHOMP.  Crew was nice, and the place was well managed, nice and clean.  Great place to eat.  On the way back we stopped at Olsen's  Danish Village and Bakery to cash in some of the items from our free continental breakfast coupon courtesy of our motel.  The line was long, weather hot, and what we got for free was limited to second rate items; felt like a bait and switch.

Off to beautiful Cambria, population 5.6K and "a seaside village in San Luis Obispo County, California, midway between San Francisco and Los Angeles."

There's an East and West village; we stayed in East at a charming BnB called the Squibb Houses.  There are a few great places to eat at the small downtown where we were, and a steep hike up the steps on the hill near us - nobody except me wanted to explore the top of the hill; took a lot of effort to reach the top.

The weather in Cambria is cool even when it's hot everywhere else.  Our room was one of the nicest I've stayed at, with oak wood flooring and sections of walls covered with oak as well, a fireplace where Johanna spent most of her time in the room, and a beautiful open shower/toilet combo where I threw out my back.

Downstairs was the common area where breakfast was served, comfy couches and a big chess table where Johanna bravely took on all comers with a surprising appetite to play.  We spent quite a bit of time there since I threw out my back and Elin's abdominal cramps confined us to our residence.

The morning of Wednesday August 3rd, we left Cambria bright and early for breakfast at Lilac Patisserie in Santa Barbara, and this time I gave specific instructions to toast the glutten free muffin extra, and keep the poached egg in our Eggs Benedict runny for crying out loud.

Got home a little after 12 p.m. In a relatively traffic free trip by meticulous design.

If you haven't been to Cambria, go there!

Lilac Patisserie 1st visit

Downtown Santa Barbara - looking for macaroons per Johanna's request

Downtown Solvang

Solvang, Chomp

Solvang, breakfast at Brekkies

Cambria, Linn's restaurant (great food), Johanna covering her face

A not too happy (or loving) Elin posing for a picture under the tree of love

Linn's - Owner is a cyclist and thought I was a cyclist (maybe he thinks everyone's a cyclist?).  He gave us a tomato his son had picked for the restaurant

Other customers kept getting welcome notes, so I complained to Len, the affable front desk guy, and he made us a special welcome note

Our room - I pulled a back muscle in the bathroom shower area to the right and inside of sink area

Front entrance to our room common area

 

Johanna in her favorite section of the room

Our hike up the steep hill

Halfway down the steep hill - view of the street below where we stayed

On the way down the hill

Back at Linn's for dinner - had to order take out because of 2 hour wait

Ollalieberry preserves at Lynn's.  We bought a GF ollalieberry pie that likely was the cause of Elin's abdominal pain

Back at Lilac Patisserie in SB to right a wrong with the Eggs Benedict

Bastard of Wintertfell

 Finally, the perfect menu for Jon Snow:

Better late than...

Valido Trail is in south Laguna, about half a mile, steep climb to the top.  There's a bench at the sumit overlooking the ocean, with a beautiful view of The Ranch golf course on the other side in the picture I took today.

On the way down, there was a family of three who hesitated to walk past what turned out to be the laziest snake I've come across - and I haven't encountered many snakes in my life - but this one was stretched out across the walking path and made little to no effort to move as everyone eventually walked past it, and I stopped to take a close up picture.

After the hike, I ate breakfast at AbhA below the trail, which is Mediterranean/Israeli food - what a gem.  I can't believe I've been going to Laguna forever and yet I didn't know about this place.  Better late than pregnant....

Eggbert: My 8th grader's art project

 

Eggbert Eggsasperated is a long time inhabitant of Alpha Island. IF he had any friends, they would likely describe him as an irritating individual, despite his culinary talents. That’s right. Sir Eggbert is the most infamous chef in all of Alpha Island, even having secured a job as Emperor UnJolly the Rancher’s personal chef. His controversial meals have brought him many customers, and his restaurant, Eggy’s Eggdibles has items such as pickled toes, fried eyeballs, dandruff salad, and even *gasp* scrambled eggs on the menu. Some of his most popular drinks include the eyeball juice extraordinaire, sweat soda, and his monthly special, the sewer samosa. If you ever visit Alpha Island, be cautious when in Eggbert’s presence, for as the locals will tell you, Eggbert literally eats his enemies for breakfast.