Saturday, November 8, 2014

When IKEA's got you by the balls

Anyone who has been to IKEA at least once is keenly aware of the gigantic baffling maze the layout of these stores are, and how escaping without a purchase is virtually impossible.  I bet top dollar IKEA has hired design consultants to break down the shoppers' bearings in an attempt to get them to travel the farthest distance from entrance to exit.  There are hidden or disguised shortcuts throughout, but they're better kept secrets than In 'N Out Hamburgers' underground menu.

Now imagine your 4 year old throws a tantrum, just long enough distance away from the entrance, and you threaten to take her back to the car!!!

The downward spiral began today when both of my daughters were told there was a 30 minute wait for the playroom.  Translation:  It ain't happening.  We were shopping for one item and weren't about to wait.  As we walked away from the playroom, the younger one slowed down, which is not exactly how we preferred to navigate this obstacle course.  Then when I told her I'd take her back to the car, she began crying defiantly.  So I picked her up and carried her a few feet before I realized I have to pass at least a few dozen shoppers, and then a healthy crowd at the check out counters, all over a long distance while my daughter was having none of it.  I immediately parked it in a secluded corner and told her if she stayed calm for 10 seconds, I'd let her down.  She demanded I put her down first.  I, of course, refused.  This negotiation went on for a couple of minutes before she relented to my surprise.

The moral of the story is, unless you're near the check out counter, not only does IKEA own you, but so does your little one.