Abandoned all day - Hide & Seek w/ a 3.5 year old

It was around 3:15 p.m. this Sunday that Elin and I began playing hide and seek.  After a few times back and forth, I devised a surefire strategy to hide from Elin for an eternity; a simple strategy that can be employed by anyone successfully.  It involves moving from your original hiding position to the seeker's starting position while he/she is searching for you.

After 20 seconds or so of searching, Elin went back to her starting location where Johanna was bathing and her mom was watching her.  She then began taking her clothes off and asked to take a bubble bath.  Her mom asked her if she should find me first, to which she replied, "Pappa can hide all day until I'm done".

Elin in the shower after abandoning her dad in the middle of a hide and seek  game

Punishment beyond timeout??

Setting:  Lunch time with Elin and I seated at the dining room table on Martin Luther King’s day.  Elin’s bib was hanging on her chair while she was eating a sandwich her mom had made (see picture below).

Elin:  I’m gonna thwow (throw) this bib out of the house.  Sandwich can stay, but if it’s bad, I’m gonna thwow it out too.

A few seconds later…

Elin:  I’m gonna thwow that Bagel out of the house (referring to the bagel sandwich I was eating).

Brian:  No.  That bagel is going in my stomach now.

Elin:  Okay, bagel is going on a verrrry loooong time out in your stomach.

Kids say the darnedest things - Part 2

On the way to the library to pick up a book for me and a few for Elin:

Elin:  Can you go a lew (little) bit fast?

Brian:  That’s not a good idea.  If we go fast, we can hit other cars, or we may hit people….

Elin:  And they turn into a pancake…. And I’m gonna eat the pancake.

After we got home from the library:

Elin:  Brian, can you play with me?

Brian:  No honey.  I’m watching Football (playoffs 49ers vs. Saints 3^rd quarter 20-14 SF winning)

Elin:  After I pee, I want you to weed (read) the books from the libwawy (library)

Later that night, after I bought dinner for us from a Vietnamese restaurant (shaken beef w/ crispy Jasmine rice), Helena asked me to share my food with Elin.  I said I don’t think so as a joke.

Elin:  Brian, I’m gonna eat you…

Brian:  Why?

Elin:  You have to shew (share).

This morning, during breakfast at Champagne Bakery, Elin and Johanna began dancing to the song “Shake your booty”.

Brian:  Elin, can you move like Jagger?

Elin:  Shake your booty Jagger (see video below)

Definition of a tourist

tour·ist
noun
A person who dresses from head to toe with the same clothing line purchased and worn in a foreign country

Coincidentally, I had a Hollister sweater in the car that I refused to wear next to these two, despite the cold weather.

From right to left, Emil, Andy (my brother in law), Kinga (his wife)- all from Sweden.

Kids say the darndest things - Part 1

Elin:  I wanna put this pizza in a time out.

Brian:  Why?  What did this pizza slice do?

Elin:  He hit me here (pointing to the top of her head)

Brian:  I don’t think so, this pizza slice can’t move on its own

Elin:  Let’s put that in a time out (pointing to one of my pizza slices)

Brian:  Thinking silently:  No way.  I’m hungry and not about to put any of my pizza slices in a time out.

A day later, we were having McDonald’s for dinner (I know… pizza one night, McDonald’s the next, but the pizza wasn’t for her.  She robbed me of one of my slices after having eaten her dinner earlier).  Elin inadvertently knocked over my Big Mac box and spilled the contents on the rug.

Brian:  Be careful Elin!  Now you have to clean it.

Elin:  (smiling) Now it’s my turn to relax.

Brian:  Why?  What have you been doing up to now, besides making a big mess?

Today, on January 7^th at 3:40 p.m., I was lying down with a stomach ache watching the ESPN documentary “Fab Five” when Elin showed up next to me and the following exchange took place:

Elin:  Brian, wash my hands so we can play a game.

Brian:  Okay, but how about we go to the playground instead (trying to avoid playing a kids game at home)

Elin:  Okay.  Let’s play a game and THEN go to the playground.

Brian:  Oh, so you wanna have your cake and eat it too?

Elin:  Yeah, I wanna eat a cake after we come home from the playground.

Brian thinking:  I better shut my trap before this situation gets any worse than it is.

The picture below is right after this exchange.