Until the end of time

There is an ancient, well-documented rumor that cockroaches can survive a thermonuclear blast. Science tells us they can withstand up to fifteen times the radiation dosage of a human being, making them the undisputed heavyweight champions of the post-apocalyptic wasteland.

What science forgot to mention, however, is that their corpses are equally indestructible. They are entirely immune to the specialized gaze of high-end apartment maintenance crews.

Welcome to the Enzo apartments in Irvine, where luxury living meets permanent, chitinous installation art.

If you stroll down the parking structure, wander past the pristine pool, or step out of the elevators, you will see a masterclass in modern facility management. The ground practically gleams. The maintenance team treats the concrete with a level of industrial devotion usually reserved for cleaning up biohazard zones. They are out there regularly, armed with pressure washers, blasting away the sins of the world with the force of a thousand suns. The parking stalls look immaculate. The pool deck is pristine.

Yet, step into the residential hallway carpet right near my room, and the grand illusion of the luxury tier crumbles into a funny little pile of six-legged irony.

There he lies. A robust, deeply tanned American cockroach, profoundly deceased.

He didn’t just pass away yesterday. This little guy has been occupying his premium square inch of hallway real estate for a few weeks now. At this point, he has outlasted typical guest parking limits, a few news cycles, and certainly the patience of anyone paying Orange County rent. He has achieved a state of mummified permanence that local museums would envy.

It has become a genuine geometric mystery. How does a cleaning crew meticulously power-wash an entire multi-level parking garage and scrub the elevator tracks to a mirror finish, yet somehow develop a localized, blind spot exactly where this carcass rests? It’s as if he’s protected by a cloaking device. Perhaps the industrial vacuums possess a sensor that automatically steers around anything resembling a prehistoric relic.

Every day I walk past him, expecting the great scoop-up that never comes. I’ve started treating him less like a pest and more like a stubborn, unbilled tenant. He doesn't pay amenities fees, he completely ignores the community guidelines, and he has successfully evaded the broom for a fortnight.

If the bombs ever do drop, I have a feeling the Enzo parking structure might take some structural damage, but this hallway carpet—and its permanent, amber-colored resident—will remain entirely unchanged, quietly mocking the pressure washers until the end of time.

Our k-trip

South Korea:  A highly developed nation with a shrinking population of 51 million known for lots of cultural exports with 'k' in front of them to denote their global premium label; k-pop, k-drama, k-

food, k-fashion, k-beauty surgery.  One of the noticeable aspects of their culture is politeness which is deeply rooted in Confucianism, emphasizing hierarchy, respect for elders and social harmony.  This is in stark contrast to U.S. individualism that produces the entitled Karens of the world.  South Korea is also a nation of intense competition, particularly in business and education.  The economy is highly concentrated within a handful of massive conglomerates such as Samsung, Hyundai, LG, where all the high paying and prestigious jobs are.  To land a position at one of these conglomerates requires a degree from one of the top three universities in the country, in what can only be described as a zero-sum game rat race.  A huge breath of fresh air is their no-tip custom. 

Seoul, the capital of South Korea that houses approximately 9.6 million people in just 605.21 km². This small area accounts for only 0.6% of South Korea's total land but holds roughly 20% of its population.

From the moment we approached the Incheon airport in the outskirts of Seoul, we were take aback by the number of high rise buildings in such a densely populated city.  I took the picture above from the North Seoul tower observation deck on the Namsan mountain in central Seoul.  The photo displays a dense urban landscape featuring a mix of modern skyscrapers and older residential neighborhoods.  And this is the epitome of the city; a mixture of old school vs. ultra-modern, where centuries-old palaces and Hanok villages exist side-by-side with dazzling skyscrapers, neon-lit streets, and cutting-edge technology.  Even within the posh areas of the city, there is ghetto tendencies on display, such as the spaghetti of wires in back alleys, HVAC units and the cell towers in full view - the Koreans expend zero effort in hiding these.  The picture to the left is Elin marveling at the beauty of old Seoul in one of the alleys near our Airbnb in CentralViewSuite Residence Myeongdong, we stayed for a few days upon our arrival.

All of these unremarkable aesthetics seem to be in conflict with Korea's cultural obsession with physical beauty as well; South Korea is a country with the highest rate of cosmetic surgeries per capita globally, whereby attractiveness is a form of social capital linked to professional success.  Many job applications  require a photograph.  And for all these reasons, it's quite understandable that I got multiple requests from family and friends in the U.S. to bring back skincare products laced with salmon sperm, developed first in - you guessed it - South Korea.

Transportation:  One of the first things we noticed upon arrival was how cheap transportation was via taxi and Uber.  The cost of rideshare in Korea is easily 1/3rd of that in the U.S., so we decided to take taxis, later switched to Uber for all our transportation needs beyond walking.  Subway was a cheaper option, but not by a lot, plus travel time with subway was longer.  Koreans use a popular taxi app called Kakao-T - the foreigner version is k.ride, which failed to function at least half the time we attempted to hail a ride, hence the transition to Uber which worked 100% of the time.  Most taxi/Uber drivers were aggressive drivers, so much so that Elin threw up once after a ride to Seoul station on our last day there.  And the cell phone GPS the drivers used would voice directions incessantly; I'm talking non-stop instructions.  I will forever remember "kilo meeta", the Korean pronunciation of kilometer.  Only one driver muted the GPS voice, and may God bless him for our only peaceful ride.

Currency exchange:  I purchased $600 worth of Korean won at LAX prior to our departure flight, in what turned out to be a colossal mistake.  The exchange rates at LAX blow.  To further make this decision a debacle of sorts, I learned later converting the remaining Korean won to USD post-trip would result in further losses since the conversion rates are different from and to USD, i.e. if I convert US dollars to won, and immediately convert back to USD, I lose a chunk of my USD in this transaction.  WTF??!!  Lesson learned is, convert money anywhere but at the airport, and spend all of it during your trip, i.e. don't put yourself in a situation of having to reconvert to your local currency.  Through a Google search after the trip, I learned the best exchange rates are offered in Korean private exchange booths in tourist areas, using crisps $100 bills.

Weather:  Lots of cloudy days, a little on the chilly side, 1-2 days of sun the entire week, offset by the cherry blossom trees in full bloom.  Picture to the left is in Busan, South Korea's second largest city.  We stayed a couple of days at a luxury hotel (Paradise hotel Busan) in Haeundae, the most famous beach in the country featuring long sandy stretch lined with high-rise hotels and a lively boardwalk.  This part of Busan reminded me of Miami.  Across the street from our hotel was SEALIFE Busan Aquarium that Elin had forcibly targeted for a visit, which we did.

Addresses in Korea:  Fuhgeddaboudit.  Our Airbnb was in a building with multiple businesses and signs.  We had to figure out where to enter the building to work our way to our suite, which was through a part of the parking structure and a left turn.  I found myself repeatedly feeling like a dumbass from my inability to locate street names I was following on Naver Map, Korea's GPS app.  And for some reason, Google Maps was another Fuhgeddaboudit - near complete useless in navigation help.  To add insult to injury, the address you enter in Naver Map had to be perfect for the map to locate.  Even a misplaced comma would return an error.

Seoul:  There are coffee shops everywhere, chain and independent, sometimes four to an intersection.  There seem to be no "exclusive use" provisions in commercial lease agreements in Korea, prohibiting similar business from operating in the same shopping center.  It's basically a free-for-all.  There are four chain stores we came across everywhere, even in Busan:

1.  Lotte which can take the form of a department store, mall or outlet
2.  CU, the largest convenience store chain in the country with over 18k locations

3.  Olive Young, #1 cosmetics, health and beauty product chain store with over 1,300 locations across the country.  This is where I found an abundance of facial products with salmon sperm

4.  Paris Baguette #1 bakery-cafe chain with over 3,000 locations.  I bought a truffle egg sandwich there, a first for me, and kept wondering why there's something wrong with the taste (it was the truffle).  Consequently, I only ate the first half.  I threw the other half away, which brings us to the next VERY important topic:

Lovely scenery in busy part of Seoul

Trash:  There are no public trash cans anywhere in at least Seoul and Busan that I'm aware of, ANYWHERE!  The half truffle egg sandwich I wanted to get rid of in our Seoul Airbnb had to be transported to the trash dude (this is the guy in charge of sorting out the trash into a plethora of different trash categories) downstairs.  Separately, I bought and ate a soft-serve ice cream with honeycomb in Busan, only to find it impossible to dispose of the cup in the next 3 hours of walking around.  Eventually, when we passed by the same ice cream stand I bought this godforsaken ice cream from, I held it out to the girl behind the counter, and she immediately understood what to do as she grabbed the empty cup from my hand and trashed it behind the counter.

The other peculiar thing about trash in Seoul is, trash is left in bags on the sidewalk en masse, and collected every morning.  No trash cans to speak of.  Just pure, unadulterated trash bags on full display like the main attraction at a land fill's Met Gala.