Vacuum of Death - Bring it!

My nightly routine involves spending one hour cleaning up after my 2.5 year old and washing by hand the baby bottles and their gazillion accessories.  One particularly difficult night, after spending overtime picking up rice from the floor surrounded by stuffed animals, I thought of the perfect product for this and other back breaking tidying up activities:

Vacuum of Death (VOD)!

Here's how this product works:  Vacuum of death is a must for any household that wants to remain stuffed animal free.  Any stuffed animals found on the floor will be seeked out and destroyed by this vacuum.  In its spare time, VOD stands guard at the entrance of the house, and at the first sign of an approaching stuffed animal, activates its 1,200 AMP motor, sucking up these most undesirable waste of products and incinerates them to smitherines from a distance of at least 100 yards (the length of a Football field).  VOD is a smart product, designed to identify repeat offenders; those who bring stuffed animal gifts on 2 visits or more, and offering them one of two options before they ring the doorbell:

1.  Go back to where they came from WITH their gift
2.  Meet the same fate as the stuffed animals described above, the American justice way

Here's why this product is necessary: