Sunday, January 15, 2012

Kids say the darnedest things - Part 2

On the way to the library to pick up a book for me and a few for Elin:
Elin:  Can you go a lew (little) bit fast?
Brian:  That’s not a good idea.  If we go fast, we can hit other cars, or we may hit people….
Elin:  And they turn into a pancake…. And I’m gonna eat the pancake.


After we got home from the library:
Elin:  Brian, can you play with me?
Brian:  No honey.  I’m watching Football (playoffs 49ers vs. Saints 3rd quarter 20-14 SF winning)
Elin:  After I pee, I want you to weed (read) the books from the libwawy (library)

Later that night, after I bought dinner for us from a Vietnamese restaurant (shaken beef w/ crispy Jasmine rice), Helena asked me to share my food with Elin.  I said I don’t think so as a joke.
Elin:  Brian, I’m gonna eat you…
Brian:  Why?
Elin:  You have to shew (share).

This morning, during breakfast at Champagne Bakery, Elin and Johanna began dancing to the song “Shake your booty”.
Brian:  Elin, can you move like Jagger?
Elin:  Shake your booty Jagger (see video below)



Sunday, January 8, 2012

Definition of a tourist

tour·ist
noun
A person who dresses from head to toe with the same clothing line purchased and worn in a foreign country

Coincidentally, I had a Hollister sweater in the car that I refused to wear next to these two, despite the cold weather.

From right to left, Emil, Andy (my brother in law), Kinga (his wife)- all from Sweden.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Kids say the darndest things - Part 1


Elin:  I wanna put this pizza in a time out.
Brian:  Why?  What did this pizza slice do?
Elin:  He hit me here (pointing to the top of her head)
Brian:  I don’t think so, this pizza slice can’t move on its own
Elin:  Let’s put that in a time out (pointing to one of my pizza slices)
Brian:  Thinking silently:  No way.  I’m hungry and not about to put any of my pizza slices in a time out.

A day later, we were having McDonald’s for dinner (I know… pizza one night, McDonald’s the next, but the pizza wasn’t for her.  She robbed me of one of my slices after having eaten her dinner earlier).  Elin inadvertently knocked over my Big Mac box and spilled the contents on the rug.
Brian:  Be careful Elin!  Now you have to clean it.
Elin:  (smiling) Now it’s my turn to relax.
Brian:  Why?  What have you been doing up to now, besides making a big mess?

Today, on January 7th at 3:40 p.m., I was lying down with a stomach ache watching the ESPN documentary “Fab Five” when Elin showed up next to me and the following exchange took place:
Elin:  Brian, wash my hands so we can play a game.
Brian:  Okay, but how about we go to the playground instead (trying to avoid playing a kids game at home)
Elin:  Okay.  Let’s play a game and THEN go to the playground.
Brian:  Oh, so you wanna have your cake and eat it too?
Elin:  Yeah, I wanna eat a cake after we come home from the playground.
Brian thinking:  I better shut my trap before this situation gets any worse than it is.
The picture below is right after this exchange.


Sunday, December 11, 2011

Elin & Johanna w/ Lucia gown

Getting ready for their 2011 Swedish school Christmas party in Costa Mesa.  Elin is singing Santa Lucia in Swedish... sorta, and Johanna interrupts her midway.


Friday, December 9, 2011

The wonders of the universe: All the delightful ways we will get our sh*t pushed in

There is much nastiness that awaits the fate of our planet and universe in the distant future, and much has been written about them in rambling articles.  Below, is my attempt to create a coherent future timeline of earth and the universe.  Not for the faint of heart.....

Every billion years, the sun becomes 10% hotter.  In 1 billion years, the sun will become so hot that it will begin to destroy the earth.  The earth's climate and surface will become arid, and life will move underground.  In 2-3 billion years, the oceans will evaporate (no more motion in the ocean) and trap heat in the atmosphere.  Our neighboring Andromeda galaxy that is moving closer to us at 120 kilometers per second will collide with the Milky Way.  Our solar system will either escape the combined galaxies or move close to the chaotic center in a region known as Clusterf*ck.  3 billion years later (6 billion years from now), our star will turn into a red giant, expand and engulf the earth, and the earth will crash into it (added insult to injury).  That will spell the end of the earth as we know it.  Not all planets in the solar system will be pulverized by the sun.  As the sun collapses into a white dwarf, it will not muster enough gravitational force to keep the rest of the solar system planets orbiting around it. So all surviving planets will bid farewell and move on (adios amigos). 

And somewhere in the middle of this madness (250 million years from now), the continent of Africa will smash into Europe (the Mediterranean sea will be no more).  A little later, the Americas will join the party and connect with Africa (sayonara to the Atlantic ocean), and Australia will merge with Asia.

And there will be supermassive black holes roaming the universe and gobbling up whatever else sh*t that has been spared until then, but even these black holes will wither to nothingness as the force of the dark energy rips everything apart, including atoms.  Two supermassive black holes were recently discovered, one of which has 10 billion times the sun's mass and "its gravity can influence objects some 4,000 light-years away."

All of this begs the question, what is the purpose of all of these universe outcomes?  It seems as if the more we peer into the future, the more pointless everything becomes.  There will be so much death and destruction at ginormous magnitudes that it casts serious doubt upon the possibility of a higher power either designing this haphazard, spectacularly destructive and nonsensical process with gargantuan amounts of energy wasted to get the job done, or intervening to avoid its pitfalls.  Any of the episodes of the movie SAW has comparatively more humane ways to end life.  Of course, many will argue this is what armegeddon is about, and we will depart earth and the physical universe and park it somewhere safe.  But we can't avoid the pointlessness and randomness of this mass of clusterf*ck happening around us. 

Why do any of these phenomena have to occur at these cosmic scales?

And if it's really armegeddon, why does it have to happen in a myriad of ways, e.g. some life will disintegrate in supermassive black holes, some will crash into stars, some will lose their source of energy as all stars will burn away and use up their energy, and eventually, matter may not hold together (Big Rip)?  In the end, all living organisms are screwed with as many methods as in a book of Kama Sutra, except none are nearly as desirable.  Surely there can be more efficient ways to design armeggedon, no?



Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away - job 1:21

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Bend over pedometer

As I bent over to pick up the billionth toy on the living room floor to place it in its rightful place, I wondered how many times I bend over on any given day, especially on the weekends to pick up trash or toys the kids leave around the house.  I thought of jogging pedometers, and how they count steps.  It sure would be nice if I could use a bend over pedometer to get a true count of the number of times I bend over for my kids.

Then it dawned on me, there can be other potential uses for a bend over pedometer, most notably in male prisons:


Saturday, November 19, 2011

Here's what happiness is, why it's overrated and why it shouldn't be a life long goal

My observations below are a culmination of numerous books and articles I've read on happiness and the way our brain physically processes our life experiences, with citations included.  Very humbly put, all relevant information about happiness is summarized below, and there's really nothing more to it.  If you're looking for eternal bliss, read no further than what I've written here to put your life into perspective.  After reading this blog entry, at a minimum you will have a better understanding of your perception of happiness, what it is and isn't, and at best you may fine tune some of your behavior toward a different life objective.  50 years from now, there will be no new research that will add to the basic principles of well being, unless we have managed to manipulate the wiring of the brain to change this game of life that has persisted for thousands of years since our Cro-Magnon days.  There's a lot of fluffy information out there, and will continue to be published to serve someone's selfish reason to enhance credibility or generate grants or income.

Here's a basic fact of life that merits early mention:  Barring any significant mental complication, your brain is pre-programmed to be malcontent.  This is why given enough time, you will take for granted the good things in life.  If you've managed to appreciate a good marriage, a job or your good health, it's because you have been making an effort to think about them and reinforce that thinking in various ways.  Your tendency not to be content is ingrained in you to facilitate the struggle for different and hopefully better outcomes.  In a simple mathematical model of probabilities which much of life on earth has been subservient to, the individuals who were on the move to improve their position would strive and dominate the gene pool.  If you had ancestors who were supremely complacent, you wouldn't exist.  The very nature of reproduction involves struggle.  If you took constant pleasure in watching MTV's Jersey Shore on your couch, you would have minimal opportunities to generate enough interest in the opposite sex for a chance to reproduce.  Your interest in each successive episode of these degenerates would wane until you could no longer tolerate their idiotic antics, and you'd move onto something different, at least temporarily.  And the algorithm of life will constantly bet on your subsequent activity to further your survival and push you to reproduce.

You may be among the many who marvel at the thought of achieving celebrity status; money and fame.  Yet, judging by divorce rates and behavior of this bunch, they do not appear to have such an enormous happiness advantage.  Clearly, money doesn't bring happiness, although its deficiency contributes to misery.

The second important dynamic to take note of is the suboptimal way our brains are wired (Kluge), and how this creates uncertainties and inefficiencies in the game of life.  Evolution can produce spectacularly suboptimal designs because rather than scratching currently outdated systems and building new ones from the ground up every now and then, every system is an improvement over the previous inferior system.  This eventually results in a patchwork of some sorts.  Our brain is a byproduct of this system, and no less susceptible to its shortcomings.  We have at our disposal a processor that is flawed, and would do ourselves a service if we recognize its flaws and find ways to marginalize them.  How often to people get themselves into dead end relationships?  Your subconscious mind is a thing of beauty, but it's also the reason why you pick abusers if you've grown up in an abusive home - it's your comfort zone.  Identify your subconscious tendencies early to help avoid its pitfalls (therapy anyone?).

Our brains are wired a certain way to cope with external stimuli in our quest to survive and reproduce.  While reproduction is not the objective of every human, much of our behavior is innately and subconsciously tuned to socialization and reproduction, often without our knowledge.  If you're a male, your motivation to achieve financial success is largely to increase your chances of mating, whether you're on the market or not.  If you're a female, the endless hours you spend shopping for shoes, clothes and makeup are a byproduct of your innate desire to attract the highest quality mate.  That's why in every department store female items are in the forefront, whereas male clothing is relegated to second class citizen status in the back of the store or in a different geographical location altogether.

Here's what happiness is not:

It is not an endless stream of instant gratification; the kind that is experienced from the release of dopamine in the brain from activities such as eating Trader Joe's ice cream, and consuming illegal substances such as cocaine (hedonic well being).  Too often, people equate happiness with the frequency and duration of experiences involving instant gratification, e.g. consumption (buying a new car), or increasing income to consume.  This kind of happiness, while desirable for a short period, is fleeting.  It is also the focus of billions of dollars of product and service promotional activities.  How often do you see ads for reducing calories in your diet?  It's unfortunate that the deck is stacked against us, and that we are exposed and react to endless detrimental messages to our physical and mental well being.  Too much of instant gratification activities will leave you yearning for more, much like a heroin addict who chases that initial high incessantly.

Here's what the venerable Hollywood actor, Brad Pitt eloquently opined in an interview with Australian 60 Minutes:

“I think happiness is overrated, truthfully. I do,” says the Moneyball star, who has kids Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Knox and Vivienne with his partner Angelina Jolie. “I think sometimes you’re happy, sometimes you’re not. There’s too much pressure to be happy. I don’t know. I don’t really give a s–t. I know I will be at times and I know I won’t be at times. Satisfied, at peace, those would be more goals for myself.”



In one simple paragraph, Mr. Pitt has shifted the objective from happiness to satisfaction.  And satisfaction in life emanates from living it with a greater sense of purpose -  fostering relationships, working in a profession that is meaningful to you, helping others.  And here are a few things to avoid - yes, satisfaction is just as much about avoiding factors that reduce well being as pursuing the ones that promote it:

  • Materialism:  The less you value material things, the better
  • Trust:  The less you trust others, the unhappier you are
  • Inequality:  Pay no attention to your neighbor's socio-economic status.  While it's true that the more equal societies are happier ones (e.g. All Scandinavian countries - read Thrive), if you live in an unequal society (U.S., England), you would fair better by consciously avoiding a comparison of yourself to others.  This is a cross cultural tendency, pointing to its innate characteristic.
  • Expectations:  High expectations can and often do lead to disappointment.  Temper your expectations to match your abilities, even if it means missing the opportunity to becoming the next Steve Jobs.  For every Mr. Jobs, there are at least a million wannabes, but our culture has a way of perpetuating the lottery mentality.
  • Complexity:  The more your life gets complicated, the more stressful it becomes.  Simplify your life as much as you can.  Avoid credit card debt and people with credit card debt.
Finally, if all else fails you can delude yourself into satisfaction.  Conjure up a world that is fine tuned to your desires and dive into it mentally.  The expression "as happy as a pig in shit" comes to mind.  Time for chocolate now....